As I am coming to the end of my 1-month
intensive yoga training course I am looking back over the last 4 weeks with
mixed emotions. It has definitely been intense but also challenging physically,
emotionally and mentally. I was ready for the yoga overload but I don’t think I
was prepared for the personal journey and challenges I have faced. Being so
immersed in something can cause you to loose clarity on other things, I
definitely got a little lost along the way and got too wrapped up in the final
goal but luckily I was given a reality check and found my focus again.
Writing my final week summary, reflecting
over what I have learnt on this personal journey really got me thinking about how
my whole attitude towards yoga has developed and changed along with my practice
since I first stepped on the mat in my bedroom about 7 years ago. It also made
me realize the impact my ‘of the mat’ life has on my ‘on the mat’ practice.
Actually that first time I tried yoga I don’t
even think I had a mat…. I just did it in my bedroom with the TV on in the
background and looking at picture cards of poses with written and visual cues. There
was about 70 cards in the pack and I was done in about 40minutes- looking back
I don’t think I can even call it yoga, more of a ‘lets see how quick I can get
my body in and out of these poses and definitely leaving out the last ones
lying on the ground (Savasna)! So I did this once or twice a week for a month
or two and couldn’t really understand what the fuss was about at all. I
remember thinking I am just not the yoga type but a friend of mine dragged me
along to a yoga class and I decided I’d give it one last shot- that inner
competitive streak!
My first class on a yoga mat in a studio
was not a life changing experience but it was the start of a new interest in
yoga and a realization of my true ability rather than my own home yoga style! I
actually got a bit frustrated with the teacher in that first class, she kept
taking me out of poses and making me bend my knees, shorten my stance etc. For
the first half of the class I felt a bit like a puppet and didn’t really know
what was going on, but then I started to notice that this yoga stuff was
actually tough and my muscles were really working and shaking….. so what had I
been doing??!!
That first class definitely got my
curiosity going and I started going to classes regularly, although I still was
not getting the part at the end of class where you had to lie flat on the mat
and relax. Savasna and I had a little bit of a battle for the first year, I
could try to make up lots reasons for it but honestly, it is quite simple, I
couldn’t give myself me time. I didn’t value relaxation time; in my head I did
that when I slept. Looking back my practice was very intense, I went 6 days a
week and did hot power yoga and I loved challenging my body- my yoga practice
absolutely matched my life. I was working at a ridiculous pace, constantly
rushing and never seemed to have enough time to do the simple things. Everything
I did had to be at a really fast or intense pace and where I was trying to
prove myself in my work life I was doing the same on my mat, ego played a huge
part.
I decided to train to be a pregnancy yoga
teacher and then a mum & baby yoga teacher about 3 years ago and this was a
big turning point in my own yoga practice. Initially I was a bit skeptical
about how these classes would work and if the clients would get enough from the
classes. But I absolutely loved it and this really calmed me down in my own
yoga classes and slowly but surely in my day to day life. Now, I was still
working at a crazy pace but I was slowly learning about me time and how yoga
was the perfect opportunity to take advantage of me time.
How much of your life affects your
practice? When you are having a bad day or land on your mat after a stressful
day at work does that impact on your practice or can you take off your shoes,
leave your ego and any stress or worry at the door and stand on your mat as
you, the real you and choose you as your intention for your class? Bringing
just me to the mat was a big challenge for me and sometimes I still find it
hard to be in the present. I used to catch myself thinking about the day ahead
or the previous events of the week and have that guilty look on my face as if the
teacher knows I am not ‘in the moment’! Now, my mind still wanders and I
regularly have to bring myself back to my mat space, but that’s ok, for me it’s
more important that I have left my ego at the door and my practice is all about
me!
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