Don't be afraid to be you!

I was sitting in a yoga philosophy class this week trying to absorb all the new ideas and suggestions the teacher was throwing at us. We were looking at the Yamas and Niyamas which are basically the ethical guidelines of yoga…  Don’t worry this was totally new to me too! For any novice’s like me they cover things like Truthfulness, Non-violence, Contentment, Self Discipline etc. We worked in groups coming up with various explanations and expressions of each word. It was really interesting to see the different groups’ interpretations of these words and ideas. For example one group had Non-violence and spoke a lot about vegetarianism and veganism. This didn’t even come into my head for this topic- I was coming at it from an angle of causing harm to another person or object, being aggressive or abusive.

The discussion definitely challenged my open mindedness- so where I had the urge to speak up and give a counter point to opinions, I sat back and let the discussion play out and watched how people got their very different views across. Two of the words really hit a cord with me: Truthfulness and Contentment, two words used a lot but are they really understood? As part of ‘My little yoga buzz’ I have had to really learn about me and I still am, every day. But from taking that time to understand me and listen to me I have had to challenge myself to be totally truthful, with myself, which has led me to a totally new perspective on contentment. 

For me truthfulness is the ability to be totally honest with yourself. Ask yourself that question- Are you able to be totally honest with yourself? It may seem like an easy question with an obvious yes answer but for me this was a real challenge. First you have to find that inner voice, listen to it and then it’s about having the confidence and commitment to practice it and not preach it. 

Too many people rush through their days, weeks, months constantly looking to the next thing and planning something new rather than living in the moment, the day and where they are now…. Not paying any attention to that little voice in their heads. This was me! My excuse was that I was just too busy. I didn’t have a spare minute in the week between working long hours, catching up with friends, doing my yoga or running etc… but the reality was I didn’t put any value on it, I didn’t respect what it was saying.

If I am being totally honest with myself, I wasn’t too busy, I was afraid. Sometimes being totally honest with yourself is a scary thing, I think most of us will admit we have been guilty of conforming to fit in, going along with the crowd to avoid being the odd one out, or being influenced by the opinions of a group sometimes even sub consciously.

So when we started talking about truthfulness and contentment in class I had a little ‘aha’ moment…. I have always been a very high-energy person, I try to fit too much into my day, I run for the train and walk at a speed that makes it look like I am gliding because my feet barely touch the ground. However, recently I have had this new sense of calmness! A lot of people who know me are surprised by this and some even worried that I am ill! I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but this discussion helped me to put it into words. By learning to be truthful to myself, by listening to me, accepting me for who I am and staying true to me I am beginning to feel content. I say beginning because this is a huge learning curve for me and as I have even found this week sometimes I slip off it and get caught up in other people’s opinions and expectations, but I am getting there.

I don’t think you can even come close to being content if you don’t have truthfulness.

When I am doing my yoga practice now I often think back to when I started doing yoga- it was all about pushing my body to go deeper into poses and wishing my Savasna / relaxation time away so I could get back to my day….. Now even though I am definitely still a yogi who gets a lot from the physical challenges of my practice, it is in a totally different way. I bend my knees, I use props and I listen to my body every day. Every day is different, every day I have different challenges in my body and I never know what they are until I step onto the mat. But every day, every single day I enjoy every second of Savasna. This relaxation and me time is pure heaven, I am totally content to listen to my thoughts whatever they might be and let them wash over me as I take those few minutes of me time!

Don’t be afraid to be you… You might just surprise yourself and learn how great you really are!