With 2 days left in the suited and booted world, or more appropriately in my skirts and heels, I am still waiting for the panic to set in…. let’s face it… it’s not every day you leave your well-paying, secure job in the big city and choose to take a chance on a dream. But that’s exactly what I’m doing.
I had lunch with a friend of mine a few months ago and as we sat chatting for hours about how busy we both were, that there weren’t enough hours in the day and we lived for the weekends I just realised I was constantly rushing. Rushing through my days, weeks and my life…. But for what?! I know it might sound dramatic but when I really thought about it I spent my week rushing to Friday so I could clean the house, do the washing, ironing, shopping, try to fit in seeing as many friends as possible, then wait for the Sunday evening fear to set in…. Where is the fun in that?!
It is in my nature to rush around the place, I am not one of those people who saunters as they walk…. I’m a full speed, take no prisoners kind of walker. If I have somewhere to be I just don’t see the point in dawdling. I like to be constantly on the go and luckily always have lots of energy, but I suddenly realised it was all getting too much and I was wishing my life away, and at the tender age of 28 I hopefully have a lot more living to do.
I started to think about how my mood affected my yoga practice. Before I moved to London I was working in a fast paced job which was often stressful and I found a great way to deal with that was Hot Power Yoga…. So I did it at least 6 days a week. Are you starting to see a pattern…Yes I am a bit of an all or nothing girl. I liked the flow the challenge and the intensity of hot yoga which is all fine once you can balance it with your Savasna but this is where I struggled. I used Savasna as time to plan the rest of my day or week, to make another to-do list and totally missed the idea behind relaxation time. I loved my yoga practice but I was missing out on what I now see as the most important part.
Relaxing for me always has been a challenge, I know it will sound strange to some people but it used to feel very weird for me to totally relax and switch off and I used to find it very hard to do. By my nature I am a planner, a worrier and need to know what I am doing next…. I constantly think ahead and a deviation from ‘The Plan’ can totally throw me off course. Again this transferred into my yoga practice… It took me a good 18months to really be able to enjoy a yoga class, without thinking of the next pose and being able to let go when I couldn’t quite get a pose instead of trying and trying and getting frustrated.
The day I fell asleep during Savasna was a serious ‘AAAAHHHHH’ moment. I just got it, granted it took a long time and for other people day one they can totally switch off and focus in their practice and I commend these people, but at least I got there in the end and this truly was a milestone for me.
Telling friends and family about my new adventure, leaving the corporate world and focusing on my little yoga buzz journey has resulted in some interesting reactions. My close friends have been so supportive and encouraging, most of my family has been the same but there are a small handful of people that think I am going through a mental breakdown. I have been offered money, a few psychologists’ phone numbers and endless cups of tea! The idea of taking ‘such a big risk’ as one friend said to me totally baffles some people and takes them totally out of their comfort zone, where they can’t cope.
I, on the other hand quite like the idea of moving myself out of my comfort zone, and pushing myself to try something new. I didn’t let the few negative or worried opinions distract me from my objective and positive attitude…. I simple said to anyone who tried to tell me I was for the loony bin: ‘Try standing on your head... it will give you a whole new perspective’.
Whereas I actually do stand on my head to get clarity and really focus, I didn’t expect my 88 year old Nana to do the same but rather to try look at things from a different angle, be open minded to a new approach and be willing to take chances, run with the risks and if all else fails learn from your mistakes.
My little yoga buzz is a new chapter, I have no doubt it will be filled with fun, challenges, ups and downs but I also know I won’t rush through any part of it. For once I don’t have a master plan… I have a starting point and I have passion… there is no finish line to race to so let’s just see what happens.
Namaste!
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