Take a chance on you... Be brave enough to fall!

Last week I found myself running faster than my legs could carry me… you know when you are trying to do so many things at once that you feel nothing is actually getting done properly and you are constantly chasing your tail. I honestly felt like I was on a treadmill and someone kept increasing the speed until my toes were barely touching the ground… that someone was me! The me of old. Now don’t get me wrong I had a really good week I taught some great new classes, picked up a few cover classes which turned out to be great fun and I kept up with my own practice every day – often finding myself in poses that I had never quite reached before but by then end of the week I felt bunt out, definitely in need of a battery recharge.

It’s not the first time I have tried to fit too much into my week and because of the type of person I am, who hates letting people down I just keep saying yes and the person who suffers is me- whether it’s skipping meals to fit some extra work in or not sleeping with too much buzzing around in my head. I also know it won’t be the last time I take on too much…. But there was a big difference now when I do it. So at the end of last week although I felt shattered I was so happy, I knew all I needed was a good sleep and a quiet(ish) J day and I would be back on track. So why was it different? Because it is my business, it is my decision to take on the extra workload or not and if I need some time off… I can take it. I am very lucky to be able to wake up every day and love the job I do, I never have that Sunday evening fear or Monday morning dread and although I love the weekend I don’t wake up on a Monday and begin the countdown to Friday- I used to! I honestly used to wish my week away looking forward to Friday, I found myself in my mid twenties wishing away my weeks- why? Because I wasn’t happy… I have met so many people- friends, students etc. who tell me they are not happy in their jobs and I cant totally relate to it because not so long ago that was me. Now I look back and think why didn’t I make the move earlier? 

Hindsight is a great thing and this journey has not been a totally smooth sailing... but I am definitely enjoying steering this ship and getting it through the storms which makes those sunny days so much better. I still have worries and fears but they are related to different things now. I bet anyone who has left that security of a full time job with a regular pay-check and swapped it to follow a dream or a hunch and set up something of their own will relate to that fear of how you are going to pay your bills. For me the first few months were so scary when it came to money, I had countless ‘freak out’ moments wondering what had possessed me to give up a secure well paid job to follow my heart and do what I wanted to do for a living, to love getting up every day and going to work, who was I kidding. However  as time went on I started listening to my heart even more. The less I worried and the more I just went with it the better things started to be. Things just started to happen, job opportunities started to come from the craziest and most unsuspecting places and I started to relax more. That fear quickly faded and was replaced by confidence and an even stronger sense of passion and determination to stick to my dream.

To answer my own question- what stopped me from making the move earlier? It was me! Part of it was the risk factor, fear of the unknown but to be honest the biggest part was not valuing myself enough. Not letting myself realize that it’s ok to do exactly what I want to do in life and not worry what anyone else thinks. Teaching yoga is what I love to do, it’s what makes me happy and in the last 6months it has opened up so many doors and opportunities for me. It took me a while to find what I wanted to do, what I really wanted to do… and even longer to get the courage and confidence to do it! It’s not a decision that happened overnight, it is one I make every day… and i am loving it. 

My advice to anyone who wants to do something different with their life- take a chance on you!! Be brave enough to fall, you are strong enough to pick yourself up. Every time you fall, learn from it and use every set back as a stepping stone to get you to your goal. 

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