A few months ago I fell flat on my face,
literally, in a yoga class and it totally knocked my confidence on the mat. My
ego took a bruising, along with my nose, and I lost my ‘give it a go’ attitude.
I found myself taking the easy option in arm balances, hanging out beside my
new best friend- the wall! Not the best thing for a yoga teacher… and initially
I struggled to get me confidence back, but just like any ‘falling flat on your
face moment’ the only way to get over it is face your fear, to go against every
instinct in your body that tells you to run away…. Feel the fear, prepare to
fall but don’t prepare to fail!
Whether it is on or off the yoga mat I’m
sure we can all remember numerous times where we fell flat on our face…
freezing in a really important work presentation, getting a roasting from your
boss in front of your work colleagues, tripping up in the street in your just
too high stilettos or like me trying to do some crazy yoga pose and landing on
your face. Whatever your story I’m sure you are familiar with that feeling of
embarrassment, cheeks burning, wanting the floor to open and swallow you up… you
just want to get out of wherever you are and forget about the whole experience.
Well for anyone who knows me they will know
I am familiar with all of the above- so yes I have fallen on my face many
times, in lots of different ways. Unfortunately, it is not one of things that
gets easier the more it happens. You may learn from the experience but I can
honestly say with all this practice, I have not become better able to deal with
it! My most recent fall, where I almost
broke my nose, was slightly different from the others… usually I come away from
these embarrassing situations and just forget about them… but this one really
stuck with me. The particular class I went to was pretty advanced, full of
yogis who had no problem balancing on any part of their body for any amount of
time and twisting and turning themselves like an elastic band. I, on the other
hand, am not quite at that stage. However, Instead of me working to my own
level I pushed myself too far, I let the pressure of the teacher’s words and
other students abilities distract me- not that they did or said anything but my
ego decided to jump onto the mat and all of a sudden there I was in the middle
of the studio kicking up into a forearm balance- which I didn’t normally practice
and before I knew it my fear factor kicked in and I fell straight down onto my
face- followed closely by my body thudding to the floor in the most un-ladylike
manner you can imagine- roll on serious embarrassment, a very sore face and a
major bashing to my confidence. Definitely my biggest fall on my face moment!
I didn’t quite bounce back from this one… For
the first few weeks after my fall I didn’t even attempt forearm balances in my
self practice and found myself shying away from handstands too. As a yoga
teacher this is not a good habit to get into. So after a month of nurturing my
bruised ego I decided enough was enough I was going to tackle my forearm
balance, or pincha to us yogis! Every day I tried it in my self-practice, I
started off close to the wall and slowly but surely moved away into the centre
of the room. I prepared myself for the falls and yes there were many but I also
knew it was the only way to learn. Last Saturday I had the music blaring doing
my own little yoga buzz and without even thinking I lifted up into my pincha
and just held it…. No wobbling, no thudding to the floor, I even smiled! I felt
like I had won first prize in a really big competition- slightly dramatic maybe
but honestly I was so happy with myself.
Just as I have done before in work
situations where I have fallen flat on my face I picked myself up. I have
realized that whatever the situation, for me the best way to get over it is to
face the same situation again head on…. It doesn’t mean I won’t fall… I am
prepared to fall but I am definitely not prepared to fail!
If there is something that has knocked your
confidence recently- on or off the mat… Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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