Do you remember the day before you started
school…. That excited nervous feeling where you have been working up to ‘The
big day’ for months, getting your uniform, new books, lunch box and every time
you meet someone the focus turns to the fact you are starting ‘Big School’ in
September and how exciting that is.
Well roll that on 20 odd years and here I
am feeling exactly like as I did at the tender age of 4 years old the day
before I started school…. My bag is packed, I have my new books, new notepads
all ready to go, yoga gear is ready, mat by the door- I even have my lucky
socks out. So yes a few differences in the essentials but I feel the exact same
as I did all those years ago. My tummy is doing summersaults filled with
butterflies, a mixture of excitement and nerves, apprehensive of the unknown
but this time I am starting an intensive yoga course for a month. Something I
signed up to do, was delighted to be accepted for and have not stopped talking
about for at least 2 months and yet now that the big day is just around the
corner I almost want to pause or fast forward a few days to when I am settled
into it and know what awaits me every day.
Obviously life has moved on from when I was
4 years old, I have experienced a lot and faced many nerve wrecking
situations….I have been here countless times before- first day at college,
first dates, first day at a new job etc. I know I will wake up tomorrow with an
anxious feeling and be wondering what have I gotten myself into this time and
then within the first hour I will relax, I will settle into my new surroundings
and I will smile to myself and remember all those people who have reassured me
in the last few days that I was going to be fine. In reality I know I am going
to be fine but it is funny how my body goes into automatic protective mode when
I put myself in new situations or settings.
It made me think, how funny life is, and
how interesting people’s reactions to new situations are. When you take people
out of their comfort zones, their own self -protective mode steps in. If you
have read my previous posts you will probably have a good idea on the type of
person I am. I recently spoke about my curious nature, my need to ask
questions- this goes deeper though. I like to plan, I am definitely and
organized person and I like a routine. So although this new course was my
decision and I cannot wait to get stuck into it, I also have that personal
hurdle to get over where I don’t know what it’s going to be like, how I am
going to be challenged and what each day will bring. However, in the battle of
nerves vs excitement, excitement is definitely winning and the nerves are at
that good level to keep me focused. Honestly, I have surprised myself with
this. This journey that I am on is definitely a learning curve, about yoga,
about life and about me. Instead of worrying about getting nervous (as crazy as
that sounds) I knew I would feel it and I accept that.
As I have mentioned before the one person
you can’t lie to is yourself. So rather than wish I wasn’t a worrier or try to
hide the fact I was nervous- I accepted it. When people asked me how I was
feeling about starting the course I told them honestly, I didn’t make a drama
out of it but I said how I felt- I was really excited about it and a little
nervous. I got the usual reactions of ‘you’ll be fine’ or ‘you have nothing to
worry about’ and then I got the honest one: Nerves are good!
Now, I know some people will be reading
this and thinking ‘OCD’, if you are a go with the flow kind of person my ‘need
to know’ attitude probably goes totally against the grain for you. But even if
you can’t relate to this example, think of a situation that makes you feel
uncomfortable. Maybe it’s as simple as being honest with yourself or
challenging yourself to form your own opinion rather than allowing other
peoples influences to colour your judgment on something. For some people
blending into the background is where they are comfortable, for others being
the center of attention is where they are at ease. Pick your own comfort blanket
and dow loose it for a few days!
It is easy to follow a routine, I know, I
do it all the time, but the good news is that if you take that leap and explore
the unknown by challenging yourself it is a hugely rewarding experience. Other
people will challenge you: in a working environment, in personal relationships-
you know, you have been there. You also know that how you react or how much you
engage in it will probably depend on your mood at the time, we have all backed
out of things we just didn’t feel comfortable doing and made up an excuse. However,
only you can really know your limitations, physically, emotionally and
mentally. Over the next few weeks during this course I will be pushed in all of
these areas by people I don’t even know yet and as intimidating or nerve
wrecking as that may be, the true experience and learning will come from how I
push my own limitations physically, emotionally and mentally and how much I let
myself learn about me.
So why are we afraid or nervous of new
situations? You can’t become the best at something without practice; you can’t
truly succeed without making mistakes…. Because if you were the best there
would be no room for improvement and if you didn’t make mistakes you would
never learn how to be better. The worst mistake you can make is being too
afraid to make one.
In my yoga practice this week I am going to
challenge myself, how? I don’t know yet! Seriously, I don’t. Why don’t you try
it?
I will get onto the mat each morning and I
will work it out. It doesn’t need to be life changing or body transforming. I
needs to be real to you. So my advice…..
use your yoga practice to get the headspace and silence we all need. Let
your mind be free and don’t think about what you need to do to challenge
yourself, listen to your body, be open minded and perhaps most importantly let
your heart be open. Don’t be afraid to feel whatever emotions you are feeling. Before
you dismiss it…. Try it.
I look back to where this all began ‘Feel
the fear and do it anyway…. What’s the worst that can happen!’
Ella xx
Facebook: www.facebook.com/EllaBelleYoga
Twitter: @ellabelleyoga
No comments:
Post a Comment