Take a chance on you... Be brave enough to fall!

Last week I found myself running faster than my legs could carry me… you know when you are trying to do so many things at once that you feel nothing is actually getting done properly and you are constantly chasing your tail. I honestly felt like I was on a treadmill and someone kept increasing the speed until my toes were barely touching the ground… that someone was me! The me of old. Now don’t get me wrong I had a really good week I taught some great new classes, picked up a few cover classes which turned out to be great fun and I kept up with my own practice every day – often finding myself in poses that I had never quite reached before but by then end of the week I felt bunt out, definitely in need of a battery recharge.

It’s not the first time I have tried to fit too much into my week and because of the type of person I am, who hates letting people down I just keep saying yes and the person who suffers is me- whether it’s skipping meals to fit some extra work in or not sleeping with too much buzzing around in my head. I also know it won’t be the last time I take on too much…. But there was a big difference now when I do it. So at the end of last week although I felt shattered I was so happy, I knew all I needed was a good sleep and a quiet(ish) J day and I would be back on track. So why was it different? Because it is my business, it is my decision to take on the extra workload or not and if I need some time off… I can take it. I am very lucky to be able to wake up every day and love the job I do, I never have that Sunday evening fear or Monday morning dread and although I love the weekend I don’t wake up on a Monday and begin the countdown to Friday- I used to! I honestly used to wish my week away looking forward to Friday, I found myself in my mid twenties wishing away my weeks- why? Because I wasn’t happy… I have met so many people- friends, students etc. who tell me they are not happy in their jobs and I cant totally relate to it because not so long ago that was me. Now I look back and think why didn’t I make the move earlier? 

Hindsight is a great thing and this journey has not been a totally smooth sailing... but I am definitely enjoying steering this ship and getting it through the storms which makes those sunny days so much better. I still have worries and fears but they are related to different things now. I bet anyone who has left that security of a full time job with a regular pay-check and swapped it to follow a dream or a hunch and set up something of their own will relate to that fear of how you are going to pay your bills. For me the first few months were so scary when it came to money, I had countless ‘freak out’ moments wondering what had possessed me to give up a secure well paid job to follow my heart and do what I wanted to do for a living, to love getting up every day and going to work, who was I kidding. However  as time went on I started listening to my heart even more. The less I worried and the more I just went with it the better things started to be. Things just started to happen, job opportunities started to come from the craziest and most unsuspecting places and I started to relax more. That fear quickly faded and was replaced by confidence and an even stronger sense of passion and determination to stick to my dream.

To answer my own question- what stopped me from making the move earlier? It was me! Part of it was the risk factor, fear of the unknown but to be honest the biggest part was not valuing myself enough. Not letting myself realize that it’s ok to do exactly what I want to do in life and not worry what anyone else thinks. Teaching yoga is what I love to do, it’s what makes me happy and in the last 6months it has opened up so many doors and opportunities for me. It took me a while to find what I wanted to do, what I really wanted to do… and even longer to get the courage and confidence to do it! It’s not a decision that happened overnight, it is one I make every day… and i am loving it. 

My advice to anyone who wants to do something different with their life- take a chance on you!! Be brave enough to fall, you are strong enough to pick yourself up. Every time you fall, learn from it and use every set back as a stepping stone to get you to your goal. 

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Feel the fear and do it anyway! Be prepared to fall but don’t let that mean you are prepared to fail…

A few months ago I fell flat on my face, literally, in a yoga class and it totally knocked my confidence on the mat. My ego took a bruising, along with my nose, and I lost my ‘give it a go’ attitude. I found myself taking the easy option in arm balances, hanging out beside my new best friend- the wall! Not the best thing for a yoga teacher… and initially I struggled to get me confidence back, but just like any ‘falling flat on your face moment’ the only way to get over it is face your fear, to go against every instinct in your body that tells you to run away…. Feel the fear, prepare to fall but don’t prepare to fail!

Whether it is on or off the yoga mat I’m sure we can all remember numerous times where we fell flat on our face… freezing in a really important work presentation, getting a roasting from your boss in front of your work colleagues, tripping up in the street in your just too high stilettos or like me trying to do some crazy yoga pose and landing on your face. Whatever your story I’m sure you are familiar with that feeling of embarrassment, cheeks burning, wanting the floor to open and swallow you up… you just want to get out of wherever you are and forget about the whole experience.

Well for anyone who knows me they will know I am familiar with all of the above- so yes I have fallen on my face many times, in lots of different ways. Unfortunately, it is not one of things that gets easier the more it happens. You may learn from the experience but I can honestly say with all this practice, I have not become better able to deal with it!  My most recent fall, where I almost broke my nose, was slightly different from the others… usually I come away from these embarrassing situations and just forget about them… but this one really stuck with me. The particular class I went to was pretty advanced, full of yogis who had no problem balancing on any part of their body for any amount of time and twisting and turning themselves like an elastic band. I, on the other hand, am not quite at that stage. However, Instead of me working to my own level I pushed myself too far, I let the pressure of the teacher’s words and other students abilities distract me- not that they did or said anything but my ego decided to jump onto the mat and all of a sudden there I was in the middle of the studio kicking up into a forearm balance- which I didn’t normally practice and before I knew it my fear factor kicked in and I fell straight down onto my face- followed closely by my body thudding to the floor in the most un-ladylike manner you can imagine- roll on serious embarrassment, a very sore face and a major bashing to my confidence. Definitely my biggest fall on my face moment!

I didn’t quite bounce back from this one… For the first few weeks after my fall I didn’t even attempt forearm balances in my self practice and found myself shying away from handstands too. As a yoga teacher this is not a good habit to get into. So after a month of nurturing my bruised ego I decided enough was enough I was going to tackle my forearm balance, or pincha to us yogis! Every day I tried it in my self-practice, I started off close to the wall and slowly but surely moved away into the centre of the room. I prepared myself for the falls and yes there were many but I also knew it was the only way to learn. Last Saturday I had the music blaring doing my own little yoga buzz and without even thinking I lifted up into my pincha and just held it…. No wobbling, no thudding to the floor, I even smiled! I felt like I had won first prize in a really big competition- slightly dramatic maybe but honestly I was so happy with myself.

Just as I have done before in work situations where I have fallen flat on my face I picked myself up. I have realized that whatever the situation, for me the best way to get over it is to face the same situation again head on…. It doesn’t mean I won’t fall… I am prepared to fall but I am definitely not prepared to fail!

If there is something that has knocked your confidence recently- on or off the mat… Feel the fear and do it anyway! 

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Let what you love be what you do!

At the start of 2013 I decided this year was going to be different… Having moved to London at the end of 2011, my first year in London just flew by at a ridiculous pace and I barely had time to enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong it was a great year for lots of reasons but I found myself getting totally sucked into the rat race and the months just blurred by. So the only new years resolution I made at the end of 2012 was to make sure this year was different, I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to do it but that didn’t matter.

So I started off with great intentions but once again found myself working at a crazy pace with very little time for anything other than work. However, this time I was determined to make a change- I was just waiting for the right moment and in a way the inspiration. In March I got it, I went on holiday and did some yoga on the beach and as cliché as it sounds I found myself- by that I mean I found my inspiration, I came home left my job and started my own business… looking back I don’t know why I didn’t do it sooner, I no longer have than Monday morning fear, or Sunday night dread… I truly love what I do. That doesn’t mean there aren’t worry moments or times where I am a little stressed but I have never been so happy- because I followed my heart, I stopped listening to other people and listened to what I really wanted.

This did not happen overnight and the realization of what I wanted was not easy either… I knew I wanted to change my career but let’s be honest most of us think of that at some point in the week… the Monday morning blues, or the mid week hump day! But it is also easy to see the grass as being greener somewhere else when the reality is every job has its good and bad points. However, I just knew this year it was more than the Monday morning blues. I don’t know if I would have ever gotten the courage to make that leap if it wasn’t for a friend of mine… I was dreaming out loud about what I would love to do as a full time job if I could choose anything without any worry over money etc. and just as I was about to rubbish the dream they stopped me and said- Well do it then- What’s the worst that can happen? It was like a cold bucket of water to the face, my mind started racing, I had goose bumps and that was it. I just decided to do it! 

It is almost 7months since that conversation and my life has totally changed, I am the same old me but so much happier- now I totally understand and live by the phrase ‘Let what you love be what you do’. I have had many moments of fear, mostly to do with money, wondering if I will be able to pay the bills but each month these worries shrink a little more and I am learning to trust- in me, in what I do and somehow it is all working out. But these fear or worry moments never came down to my decision, once I heard those words I never doubted the decision and I am so grateful that I finally got the courage to make the change in my life. That’s the thing though, YOU have to make the change. If you are not happy only you can change it, close friends and family can try to advise and help but until you are ready to make the change you won’t hear the words or listen to the advice.

Every day I step on my yoga mat and I smile, whether I am doing my own practice or teaching I really smile and I encourage my students to do the same. I know I am lucky to be able to do what I love as my job and every day I am doing what I am doing I remind myself of that. I am not suggesting everyone who is unhappy in their job leaves, but instead find something that makes you happy. Or go back to something that made you happy, something you have let go which you really loved to do. You are never too busy to take some time for you!

For me it’s yoga, no matter what, once I roll out my mat, slip off my socks and step on my mat I smile- every single time.

What’s your yoga? 

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Living in the moment- so often a challenge...

Living in the moment…. Why is it so difficult to just be here, in the present? Not wishing for tomorrow or dreaming of yesterday but living today…. Something happened this week which opened my eyes and gave me some answers…

Inspiration can come from the strangest and most unexpected places… I had an early flight back to London on Sunday morning after a wedding at home in Dublin, I rolled out of bed at 5am with that horrible feeling of being so tired I felt sick. I was hoping for a quiet taxi man so I could just catch 40winks but taxi’s in Ireland are rarely quiet journeys-it’s always a lovely welcome when I touch down in Dublin and hop into a taxi and instantly he is chatting about the weather, the economy or whatever else is on his mind! Normally I love it but as my hearty taxi man embarked on his topics of choice… I just sat back, listened and added the odd response when he took a breath. He could probably see I was falling asleep so he started asking me about why I was home I kept it short and sweet, still hoping for a few minutes of silence… again he took over and started to describe his version weddings- he said it’s funny how the men love the party but fear the inevitable girlfriend fluttering her eyelashes talking about how romantic everything is while they feel the pressure rise to get down on one knee, women on the other hand get wrapped up in the fairy tale and a different kind of fear sets in, it is like an amplifier for a ticking clock. Women want to press that pause button and ideally rewind a few years…. My ears started to prick up a little.

As a girl approaching the end of my 20’s I am coming to the stage where friends are getting married which causes other friends to get nervous and that fear of being left on the shelf sets in… many of my girlfriends hate admitting their age and would love to turn the clock back a little….  Rather than enjoying where they are now, whether single or in a relationship. There seems to be a constant want or need for something else- marriage, kids etc. Is there ever a fulfilled feeling?

It got me thinking about how things change. Children constantly wish their life away…. Wanting to grow up. I work with kids now and I see what a massive influence the words we use with kids has…. How often does a parent tell a child they can do something when they are older? Or tell the child they can’t do something because they are too young? Our carefree days of being a child are so short in our lifetime but yet every day I see how kids wish these precious days away, looking for the next thing to happen. Now I know they aren’t actually wishing their life away as they don’t think that deeply or understand how good they have it but by constantly making reference to what they can’t do because they are too young we are building up the getting older part instead of encouraging them to live in the moment!

I remember being in my teens at school and studying for exams, the sun always seemed to be shining when it came to study time. I could hear the younger kids playing outside for hours and I often thought how I would love to be able to go back to being a child and appreciate those years more, the not having to worry years. The point is we spend so much time wishing to be somewhere else or at a different stage in our lives. Even as adults, rather than enjoying where we are and appreciating all we have got we are racing to a finish line and what for? A good friend of mine made a comment to me this week- wishing it was 2 years time when he would be qualified in his studies; I stopped him and challenged him. Why would you want to waste 2 years of your life? Miss out on all those great times with your kids, 2 years of memories with friends and family! I told him while it is important to focus on the bigger picture and have a goal…. He needed to remember to enjoy the journey. The journey is a key part to the destination. 

In yoga we are encouraged to be in the moment, to step onto the mat and let go of any rushing we had to do to get to class that day, any to do lists bouncing around in our heads for later…. To ignore what anyone else is doing on their mat and just be present and connect with our breath and our body. Our struggle on the mat is just a microscope into what we do every day in our lives. Of course it is difficult to be present and in the moment when we spend the rest of our lives racing to fill a bucket of water with a hole in the bottom, more water won’t help we need to patch up the hole.

When I started teaching yoga full time earlier this year I decided to jump off the treadmill and stop racing through life. To enjoy where I am now and live in the moment. It was not an overnight transformation and I sometimes still struggle with myself to stay off the treadmill, it’s like a bad habit  I don’t even realize I’m doing it. But for me yoga has helped me stop rushing, wishing for the next thing and to start living today. 

Ever heard the phrase ‘Life is too short’ maybe start believing it...

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