Never teach the teacher, teach the student!
I walked into one of my classes last week
and was delighted to see lots of familiar faces and some new eager students. As
I introduced myself, some of the new students did the same and went on to tell
me all the places they taught and how they were looking forward to my class.
All of a sudden I could feel my nerves start to take over, I was instantly
brought back to days at school right before a big exam or being in college
making a presentation in front of a full lecture hall. My breath went shallow, my knees went a
little wobbly and I could feel a heat rising inside. I quickly scanned the room
my eyes feeling pulled towards the door almost like a magnet as I contemplated
if I could just make a run for it and leave. How did I impress these highly
experienced teachers, what if they didn’t like my style and didn’t think I was
good enough? Somehow as these thoughts were racing through my head at a million
miles an hour I settled the class down and began the warm up, using my words to
try and focus and calm myself as much as for my students. But the adrenaline
was taking over, I was over thinking…. I took looked around the room and saw
each student was relaxed and connecting with their breath…. so I went back to
basics- I listened to my own words and I came back to my breath.
As I calmed my breath, I felt my mind calm
and I began to teach, properly, as me. As a teacher I know as much as any
teacher that I am also always going to be a student, one of the brilliant
things about yoga is that we are all continuously learning and always have
something to work towards so I focused on each person in the class as a student
and I taught the rest of my class with confidence, encouraging each person to
listen to their own bodies and to take their variation of the pose as they
needed that day.
After class I felt drained, I usually leave
class on a high and feel energized but my reaction and nerves at the start of
the class had really stressed me. However, instead of over analyzing it and
beating myself up over it I smiled and laughed to myself- what a waste of
energy that had been. In any class I teach I can only be me, I had been
intimidated by teaching very experienced teachers, I had let self-doubt take
over for a few moments and almost let the fear take over and ruin the class. In
every class I teach I learn- often from my students and often from my teaching
and then to how I deal with situations as they arise and work with each student
to develop their own practice. Sometimes the learning’s are subtle and sometimes
they are a little more obvious, but in every class there is a lesson for me as
the teacher
This class taught me to trust in what I
feel, to believe in me and to always teach the student, not the teacher. Again
I have seen how easily experiences on the mat and in the studio transfer into
my off the mat life. So many examples spring to mind of where I felt
intimidated or nervous by being in certain groups and feeling a pressure to
impress- in previous work environments and social situations. However, as I
have grown and experienced these situations I have grown in confidence. I am
not always bursting with confidence but I am less likely to feel intimidated in
these situations now. I have been there and done that and just like in the yoga
class it is a waste of energy. So my learning this week is to live by you,
listen to you and believe in who you are and how great you are. Once you start
to believe this, what other people think or do won’t matter. Be true to you!
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