Challenge yourself to be yourself

Do you remember the day before you started school…. That excited nervous feeling where you have been working up to ‘The big day’ for months, getting your uniform, new books, lunch box and every time you meet someone the focus turns to the fact you are starting ‘Big School’ in September and how exciting that is.

Well roll that on 20 odd years and here I am feeling exactly like as I did at the tender age of 4 years old the day before I started school…. My bag is packed, I have my new books, new notepads all ready to go, yoga gear is ready, mat by the door- I even have my lucky socks out. So yes a few differences in the essentials but I feel the exact same as I did all those years ago. My tummy is doing summersaults filled with butterflies, a mixture of excitement and nerves, apprehensive of the unknown but this time I am starting an intensive yoga course for a month. Something I signed up to do, was delighted to be accepted for and have not stopped talking about for at least 2 months and yet now that the big day is just around the corner I almost want to pause or fast forward a few days to when I am settled into it and know what awaits me every day.

Obviously life has moved on from when I was 4 years old, I have experienced a lot and faced many nerve wrecking situations….I have been here countless times before- first day at college, first dates, first day at a new job etc. I know I will wake up tomorrow with an anxious feeling and be wondering what have I gotten myself into this time and then within the first hour I will relax, I will settle into my new surroundings and I will smile to myself and remember all those people who have reassured me in the last few days that I was going to be fine. In reality I know I am going to be fine but it is funny how my body goes into automatic protective mode when I put myself in new situations or settings.

It made me think, how funny life is, and how interesting people’s reactions to new situations are. When you take people out of their comfort zones, their own self -protective mode steps in. If you have read my previous posts you will probably have a good idea on the type of person I am. I recently spoke about my curious nature, my need to ask questions- this goes deeper though. I like to plan, I am definitely and organized person and I like a routine. So although this new course was my decision and I cannot wait to get stuck into it, I also have that personal hurdle to get over where I don’t know what it’s going to be like, how I am going to be challenged and what each day will bring. However, in the battle of nerves vs excitement, excitement is definitely winning and the nerves are at that good level to keep me focused. Honestly, I have surprised myself with this. This journey that I am on is definitely a learning curve, about yoga, about life and about me. Instead of worrying about getting nervous (as crazy as that sounds) I knew I would feel it and I accept that.

As I have mentioned before the one person you can’t lie to is yourself. So rather than wish I wasn’t a worrier or try to hide the fact I was nervous- I accepted it. When people asked me how I was feeling about starting the course I told them honestly, I didn’t make a drama out of it but I said how I felt- I was really excited about it and a little nervous. I got the usual reactions of ‘you’ll be fine’ or ‘you have nothing to worry about’ and then I got the honest one: Nerves are good!

Now, I know some people will be reading this and thinking ‘OCD’, if you are a go with the flow kind of person my ‘need to know’ attitude probably goes totally against the grain for you. But even if you can’t relate to this example, think of a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe it’s as simple as being honest with yourself or challenging yourself to form your own opinion rather than allowing other peoples influences to colour your judgment on something. For some people blending into the background is where they are comfortable, for others being the center of attention is where they are at ease. Pick your own comfort blanket and dow loose it for a few days!

It is easy to follow a routine, I know, I do it all the time, but the good news is that if you take that leap and explore the unknown by challenging yourself it is a hugely rewarding experience. Other people will challenge you: in a working environment, in personal relationships- you know, you have been there. You also know that how you react or how much you engage in it will probably depend on your mood at the time, we have all backed out of things we just didn’t feel comfortable doing and made up an excuse. However, only you can really know your limitations, physically, emotionally and mentally. Over the next few weeks during this course I will be pushed in all of these areas by people I don’t even know yet and as intimidating or nerve wrecking as that may be, the true experience and learning will come from how I push my own limitations physically, emotionally and mentally and how much I let myself learn about me.

So why are we afraid or nervous of new situations? You can’t become the best at something without practice; you can’t truly succeed without making mistakes…. Because if you were the best there would be no room for improvement and if you didn’t make mistakes you would never learn how to be better. The worst mistake you can make is being too afraid to make one.

In my yoga practice this week I am going to challenge myself, how? I don’t know yet! Seriously, I don’t. Why don’t you try it?

I will get onto the mat each morning and I will work it out. It doesn’t need to be life changing or body transforming. I needs to be real to you. So my advice…..  use your yoga practice to get the headspace and silence we all need. Let your mind be free and don’t think about what you need to do to challenge yourself, listen to your body, be open minded and perhaps most importantly let your heart be open. Don’t be afraid to feel whatever emotions you are feeling. Before you dismiss it…. Try it.

I look back to where this all began ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway…. What’s the worst that can happen!’

Ella xx

Facebook: www.facebook.com/EllaBelleYoga

Twitter: @ellabelleyoga

Lets hit the mat boys!

If I had a penny for every time I have heard a guy saying Yoga is for girls I would be a very rich lady! To be honest when I first started yoga there was this crazy perception that yoga was for women and men who did it were gay. Now you may raise an eyebrow but it’s true. I’m not saying for one minute I agree with it but I was curious as to where this generalization came from. If you go back a few thousand years yoga was practiced only by men, it was developed by men and for men only- yes I was quite surprised when I discovered this too.

So where did this male tradition and practice turn into a women’s only club?! Where did the male fear of yoga come from?

Most men like the idea of yoga- for women! It seems there is a general consensus among men that yoga is full of flexible women in pink spandex…. so I can see how they would get confused on where they fit in. But boys I will let you into a little secret… speaking for the ladies out there yoga classes are not about us sitting around in tight spandex bending and stretching and trying to look good- sorry if I have burst any bubbles out there. Seriously though, I want to dispel the myth and get more men understanding what yoga is before they rule it out. It’s like what my mum used to say to me when it came to dinner time…. Just try it, if you don’t like it you don’t have to eat it  but don’t decide you don’t like it before you have even tried it.

So here are my top 3 reasons on why men should do yoga…. I could give you 100 but I know you will switch off after about 3! J 

            1. For your Body: Strength and Flexibility

A lot of men train to be strong, building muscle and bulking up is a main focus. The idea that Muscle = Strength, it is not true on its own and that’s why I have put strength and flexibility together here! I often find men don’t listen to their bodies, they over train and don’t stretch- this is a recipe for disaster. Strength and flexibility are co-dependant to maintaining a fit body and healthy fitness routine. Yoga will stretch your tight spots like shoulders, hips and groin and strengthen your weaker spots like your lower back and knees. Stretching your muscles and learning to engage them properly will lead to better physical results and reduce tightness.

2. For your ‘need to be strong and Manly’ gene:

I understand the need as a man to feel strong and be manly, but as a woman sometimes the way men express this can often come across as aggressive and not very attractive. Yoga not only challenges your strength and endurance levels but it will show you your limitations and teach you how to push your own boundaries. You won’t be able to do every pose day one, but no one can. There will be parts you like and parts you don’t because you have to work harder at them.  On a personal level will give you the chance to focus on you, leave the tough guy exterior at the door and have some you time, to let your guard down and just be you- the ability to do this is manly, this shows true self confidence and inner strength which will not only reflect in your outer physical strength but from a girls point of view is massively attractive!

            3. For your Mind: Relaxation…. Not as you know it

I’ll be honest the whole relaxation side of yoga took me a long time to grasp, I mean probably 18 months, so I can particularly understand the hesitation on this one. However having finally got it- this has to be the top reason anyone should do yoga because the benefits are limitless.  Initially for me yoga was about building strength, toning and learning about my body. I always trained hard and didn’t really believe in rest days but through yoga I started to listen to my body and found that by allowing myself to relax and wind down, as a result I was so much stronger physically.  Allowing yourself just a few minutes a day to switch off, forget the stress of work, press pause on the ridiculous pace most of us operate at… seems like a really simple thing but yet now many people don’t or can’t allow themselves to do it. Free your mind…. And the rest will follow!

So the myth that yoga is for hot women wearing pink spandex and getting themselves into crazy positions by being super bendy, is just that boys- a myth. Yes yoga is great for flexibility but it is so much more than that… it is about strength, endurance, understanding your body, listening to your body and connecting with you. Don’t be afraid to take the time to discover more about yourself. Don’t be intimidated by looking at people doing crazy yoga positions or think that everyone in the class will look at you because you can’t touch your toes. Honestly, it’s not all about you! No one will even notice what you are or aren’t doing. You will find you are naturally good at some things and need more work on others but that’s life, yes it will be challenging mentally and physically but also massively rewarding.

Try it, what are you afraid of? If you don’t like it, you haven’t lost anything. Why don’t you see what all the fuss is about!

Ella Belle

xx

Be happy, be you… the real you!

With only 4 days left until I start a one-month intensive yoga course I am starting to get that nervous excited feeling. You know the one where you have been thinking about something for a while and talked a lot about it and then the reality sets in and you get that sudden ‘OMG moment’! Yeah I’m there…. But honestly it is more excitement than nerves. My productive Monday seemed to set the tone for the week and I have been really busy- teaching, writing and of course lots of yoga but rather than get caught up in constantly thinking about what was next on the to do list or planning every day so it was jam packed. I took a step back and enjoyed it, my little dream is starting to become more and more like a reality and I am absolutely going to live this dream rather than loose focus and let it pass me by.

I have been surprised and really touched by some of the lovely messages I have received from people this week, some friends, family and others total strangers reading my blog or following my updates on facebook and twitter. So a huge thank you to everyone for your support. I have gotten some really heartfelt messages from people who have in one way or another connected with what I am doing and they wanted to thank me.

At first I found this strange, don’t get me wrong it is so lovely to get the support but when I say I was surprised, I really was- for a few reasons. Firstly, I am just expressing my thoughts, my feelings and my experiences and being totally honest with myself. So as I sat back and smiled at some of the messages it struck me, I am being me, I am being honest with me and I think that is the part a lot of people are connecting with. Secondly, so many people have told me how they admire me for being so brave and doing what I want to do, for following my dream etc. and how they wish they could do it too. This was the real shocker for me. I haven’t done anything extraordinary I decided I wanted to change my life balance and refocus. I wasn’t happy and I don’t mean not happy in my job because let’s face it most people don’t jump out of bed every morning and punch the air and shout ‘Yes I’m going to work today” and I wasn’t depressed or down I just felt something was missing. There was this niggling thing in me that has been there for years and I finally let it out. For me it wasn’t about being brave or having courage it was about being honest.

So who is the one person in the world you can’t lie to?..... No not your mum. Let’s face it most of us spent half of our teenage years lying to our mums! Just little white lies of course J but seriously think about it. Yourself. Before you dismiss this just take a few moments to think about it. Because I know I certainly used to dismiss it, someone said this to me a few months ago and at the time I half nodded in agreement and thought to myself well that’s obvious. Of course I am honest with myself, I think my thoughts.  But in the few days following this conversation I started to really think about those words and what they meant.

‘The one person you can’t lie to is yourself’

It wasn’t a light bulb moment but it was the start of a learning curve. In fact it was a big kick-start onto that learning curve.

Anyone who knows me will know I am an inquisitive person, I ask a lot of questions, I can feel some of you smiling at this part. I just have this inner curiosity and need to know what is going on. Now you may laugh but honestly it is not in a nosey way but it is just a part of who I am.  It is not a need to know about other people or their lives but more my need to know what I am doing, what I want to get done in any given day or week.  Another side to it is understanding anything that has an impact on what I am doing. So for example if I was working on a marketing campaign I need to know the different customer segments it affects and I mean really know them, I need to understand them. I need to know the industry, the product in detail and then how it will be followed up so how it moves from marketing to sales etc. I don’t think I need to go on- you know what I mean. I have always been like this and I hope I always am, it keeps my mind active and keeps my inner curiosity happy. So I started to ask myself questions, to try to learn more about me.

Now back to this learning curve, it was a challenge. Learning a new skill, a new language or working on a big project is easy for me because I am always challenging myself with something new, I work out what I need to know, what I need to do to get better at it and just do it. But stopping and looking at me, learning about me, listening to me and being totally honest with me- that was a something new for me. If you are one of those people who know that you live your life as you, you aren’t afraid to feel your emotions, express your feelings and know who you really are…. I commend you. I am only new to this circle and wow I’m loving it. But from the start of this curve to where I am now has been a massive journey and the more I learn the more I am starting to realize that there is no end to this path and I have a lot more to learn about me.

It seems so simple, to listen to yourself. But in reality it is far from simple.  So many of us hide our true feelings, suppress our real emotions and are afraid to express how we really feel. Why? To fit in, to avoid confrontation, because we are afraid of letting our guard down. I know I fell into all three categories and then uncovered some more personal reasons I had been igmoring. Once you start to really focus on you and get to know you, you will find your own reasons, your own comfort blankets.

Everyone is different, the true you is unique, whether you choose to discover and learn about you is a personal choice. All I will say is I have uncovered a whole new sense of ease, happiness and a balance in my life. I am content with who I am. I accept me. This might sound a bit too spiritual for some of you but maybe just try it, give it a go- what have you got to loose! I challenge you to get to know you and above all be honest with yourself because the one person you can’t lie to is yourself. You can try to bury things and walk away from things but as I have really discovered true happiness comes from within, I know people say it all the time but when you feel it, you know. As things change in my life I will grow, I will learn, I will be older and hopefully wiser… who knows what the future holds or where life will take me but one thing is for certain…. I will always have me.

Maybe even take this into your yoga practice this week…. Listen to your body, acknowledge how it feels and work to your own limits. Ignore what other people in the class are doing, don’t be afraid to take a break or to not go as deep into a posture as the person beside you. It is your body and only you knows how you truly feel. Use your yoga practice as your time to get to know your body- find your limits and when you feel stronger push them.

Be happy, be you… the real you!  

Facebook: www.facebook.com/EllaBelleYoga

Twitter: @ellabelleyoga

The race to nowhere!

I definitely didn’t have a case of the Monday blues this week! You know when you just have one of those really productive days…. I was on a serious creative roll and couldn’t get my ideas out fast enough. My poor little Macbook didn’t know what was going on. I am surprised there wasn’t smoke coming out of if from non stop use and frantic heavy typing on my part, as if that makes what you are typing more real or mean something more J but sometimes it just feels better to type with conviction!

So yes a positive and productive start to the week but as I dragged myself away from the computer last night and collapsed onto the couch I smiled to myself….  For two reasons- firstly I was so happy with the day and all I had done but I was absolutely exhausted, and why? I had tried to do so much in one day that I literally drained the energy out of me from trying to get everything done at once. But secondly I realized how hard it is to take a step back and relax and more importantly switch off when you are working for yourself… This will be a big challenge for me.

For most of us our days are jam packed from the minute we get up we are rushing to the tube or the bus, trying to grab a coffee before work, catching up on emails, racing to fit in a quick gym session, grabbing lunch, rushing to meet the girls after work or trying to get home before the kids go to bed, get the dinner on, catch up with your partner…. Do I need to go on?!

The point is we get caught up in a cycle of rushing and chasing, always looking to the next thing on the to do list or where you have to be and the result is that we loose focus on us. We stop caring and sometimes even realizing what we want and what makes us happy. Before you dismiss that thought…. Think about a situation you faced this week where you had to make a difficult or complex decision, in work, at home, wherever…. Now ask yourself was the decision you made actually your decision? Was it your opinion or was it conditioned by circumstance? Influenced and guided by what others around you wanted or expected?

Be totally honest with yourself…. as I have really discovered on my own journey in the last few months, you cannot lie to yourself. You can try to pretend you feel something different and we have all been there but when you actually stop letting other people influence your opinions you get a massive sense of relief and an inner confidence in who you are, and it is much easier to slow down.

Seriously, just stop for 20 seconds and breathe!!! I see it all the time in yoga classes…. The amount of people who arrive to class totally frazzled and stressed is crazy. I was that person so I know exactly how it feels, there is a part of me that is still rushing and I constantly have to slow myself down and just take a minute to look at what is going on around me… rather than letting my life race past me, I stop and actually look at what is going on in my life, what is around me, what do I not see that stares me in the face every day that somehow melts into my subconscious. So I’m going to leave you on that thought…. This is a much much bigger topic and I will come back to it in the next few days and weeks but I will leave you with this….

Why are you constantly rushing? What are you racing to? If you think about it there is no reward worth finishing this life first, the real fun and happiness is around you every day and the winner is the person who stops to take note and enjoy it. So maybe more importantly maybe you need to look at what you are running away from?

For you yogi’s out there reading this…. Use your yoga practice to give you the headspace you need to focus on you…. Trust in the power of your breath to focus your energy on you and what your body is telling you…. Oh an enjoy it! J