Changing your life doesn't mean changing you!

So here I am 3 months on…. and what a crazy three months it has been. My life has totally changed, my daily routine has transformed, my yoga practice has come on in leaps and bounds but yet I am still me! I am not sure what I expected, I guess with so much change in my life I thought I too would change but in fact I just found me again.

On the surface it might look like I am different, I am definitely happier- I wake every morning and love knowing that I am working to my own timetable. Friends have told me I am more relaxed, I am happier in myself and look better…. They keep talking about how I have changed so much- this is all great to hear and I do feel better but honestly I am just me but I was always me.

Before when I was working long hours, I was stressed, I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t listening to me…. This past few months I have learnt to be a little bit more self-focused and aware and I am trying to go from dreaming the dream to living the dream. Honestly, it has been challenging at times. There have been a lot of bumps along the way, some hurdles, some falls and I have definitely taken a few rides on the emotional rollercoaster but as I have learned this journey is like a never ending marathon…. There is no sprint and no race to a finish line.

People often ask me is it hard to keep motivated and do I miss the structure of an office environment- my honest answer is not at all on either fronts. I have always been very self motivated and driven so now that I am working for myself I am even more motivated. I might not be in an office environment but I have my own routine…. Slightly different from the rush hour commute but I know myself that I need to have a routine so I get up early and walk or run grab a coffee and sort out my inbox before doing my morning practice! I do it like this because I know if I tried to do my yoga before sorting my emails I would not be able to concentrate. After my practice I get into my day… teaching, studying, writing etc. Every day is different and quite surprisingly I am really enjoying that part of it. So although I didn’t struggle with these elements that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my tough times, my worry days or ‘what am I doing moments’ but these are just natural- or so I am telling myself!!

Having worked in the corporate world for 10 years I was used to getting a regular pay check at the end of the month…. This was probably the biggest shock to the system. Funny really when you think about it because I chose this, I knew when I gave up my job I was giving up that security but the first month when it came to pay day… I had a massive wobble! But rather than caving in to the fear and mass sending out my CV I calmed myself down and came back to my dream… I knew that I had to keep believing in me because if I didn’t have confidence that I would succeed how was I ever going to make this work. So although it was a challenge I became stronger from it and came back to that ‘what’s the worst that can happen’ idea!

It was a big adjustment going from loving yoga to making it my career, all of a sudden I found myself stressed at the thought of making enough money in order to stick to my dream and this was tough. There were a few days where I thought to myself I just can’t do this, I was stressed and worrying constantly and thinking too far ahead. I came back to my mat and to my own yoga practice and it really calmed me. I came back to what had given me the courage to make the move in the first place and I listened to me. I wasn’t actually panicking I was listening too much to what other people were saying and doing. So I took a bit of me time, got my focus back and picked myself up.

Something I am working on is learning to take me time… I used to live for the weekends! Friday afternoons were about clock watching and waiting for 5.30 to come the weekend was me time but I don’t really have a day off anymore. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that in a bad way it’s just different now. I have the freedom to plan my days as I want to but I also have the full responsibility of my income. I could just teach a few classes a week and take some days off but living in London that wouldn’t last long. So there is a balance between working hard, keeping up my own practice, teaching a mix of classes and trying to let myself switch off from it all. I’m sure I’ll get better at it but for now I am enjoying being busy.

In short I’m quite enjoying living my dream….